Sex Toys and Adult Toys: The Bad List

So busy discussing what sex toys and adult toys are good that some of us forget to make lists of those vibrators, dildos, and other sex toys we should avoid. This is a financial thing, a performance thing, and a general dislike thing. Yes, it is a thing, the wrench in myism.

Here are the top ten toys that made my Shameful Sex Toys List:

Starting from the best of the worst …

10. Vibro-Pod

Preface: Yes, I know some of you love the Dickens out of this vibrating egg sex toy. So for some of you: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …” We all have different preferences, but the harder I tried to find something positive to say about the Vibro-Pod, the more I came to dislike this sex toy. I love my iPod as much as I love a wonderful sex toy. Why not merge the two industries for a little fun – some music to aid my masturbation. Yeah, right. If it only worked out that way.
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Two Sexy Announcements

Life is one evolving series of announcements. In keeping with the spirit of life, and hoping to keep you in tune with the latest sex-related news, I have some interesting news to share with you.

1. VibeReview, as was announced in the previous post, has several articles and reviews featured on DivineCaroline. Much like Digg and other social networking sites, DivineCaroline relies heavily on reader votes to place articles and reviews in advantageous situations for additional exposure. Put simply: The more readers hit the “I Liked It” avatar at the bottom of articles, the more exposure the article will receive.

Since many of you are VibeReview affiliates and/or reviewers, your support would be appreciated. Though your altruistic nature might be hibernating at the moment, you might also consider that each of you will benefit either directly or, more likely, indirectly by helping to promote these articles. After all, VibeReview enjoys sharing its success with affiliates and reviewers – and in a lot of different ways that may or may not go unnoticed.

Here are the articles currently on the site:

Beginner’s Sex Toy Guide
Introduction Guide to the G-Spot
Pearl Thunder Review

Please take 5-10 minutes to check out DivineCaroline and vote for all VibeReview’s content. The more popular these articles are, the more aggressive VibeReview can be with making decisions about future writers, reviewers, and so much more. We have plans, big plans for the future.

Additionally, if any of you use StumbleUpon, please take a minute to add VibeReview to your favorites page and write a 1-2 sentence review of the site. Every little bit helps.

2. Please check out and support The New York City Sex Bloggers 2009 Calendar Project. Some of the industry’s best writers and most recognized names are participating in the project, which is an extension of Sex Work 101, created by the everywhere-all-the-time, talented Audacia Ray. This exciting project aims to do away with the stigma associated with sex work while simultaneously promoting rights for sex workers.

Here is a breakdown of how you can support the project:

We’d like to offer everyone, readers and fellow bloggers, the opportunity to join in the fun and excitement, as well as promote your own blog if you have one. That means for $30 you can buy a day in our calendar and personalize it. If you’re a blogger you can have your blog url on your day, or if you’re a reader, any personal message – you can wish us luck or send a greeting to your favorite blogger or celebrate your birthday or anniversary – up to 80 characters will be printed on your day. That $30 includes one pre-ordered calendar (shipping is extra) with all funds in excess of our expenses going directly to Sex Work Awareness. You can purchase as many additional days as you like depending upon availability for $10 each. Since this is a 2009 calendar, we are on an extremely tight schedule and can only sell days through October 1st, 2008. We hope you will consider this a fun and creative way to promote your blog or just as a way to share in the pleasure and excitement this project has been bringing us in our effort to make our community and world a better, more sex-positive place to live.

So, yes. Please support this worthy cause by purchasing a calendar, writing a short post about the project and/or spreading the word to your sexy friends.

Thanks to all!


DivineCaroline: Networking and Socializing for Women

Anyone else visit frequently? I used to spend hours and hours reading the pro-woman content posted on iVillage. However, in the last two or three months I realized that I was spending more and more time, trying to find an article or editorial bit that appealed to me. I don’t have enough time in my life trudge through a bunch of frogs to find the prince (or princess!).

Task. Journey. Search.

To find a new source of information. To find a community of female writers, professionals, sexual enthusiasts, intelligence, class, and maturity …

The Holy Grail of Pro-Woman Content: DivineCaroline
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not dead yet

So apparently there’s been an epidemic of STDs going around retirement communities and nursing homes. Speculation has led to two sources: availability of Viagra; and a lack of sexual education, namely post-menopausal women thinking they don’t need to use protection.


Sex and Violence

Is sex itself an act of violence?  Not the kind of violent violence, the kind seen in action movies – but something more archaic, basic, and elemental.  An appealing sort of violence.  The idea of anything penetrating something else is – well, you know, violent.  Especially as it pertains to a first sexual encounter, when two bodies share sacred space for the first time.  (Both in terms of being literally a “virgin” or two sexually experienced individuals sharing one another for the first time – both situations are violent in so much as any new experience is sort of violent, kinda chaotic.)

Of course, my more exploratory friends who adhere to a strict BDSM lifestyle might have a different perspective on this issue, primarily focusing on the battle between control and submission.  I’m not an expert on BDSM-anything, so I’ll let the experienced women and men fill in the blanks for me.  Is BDSM a violent lifestyle, based on destroying and then re-creating an individual?  How much does sex have to do with it?

All I know is that everytime I have sex (with a man or woman or multiple partners), I get this fleeting-returning-fleeting feeling that this gorgeous act of violence is transforming me – either for better or worse.  I admit that entertaining this realization excites me.  I recently admitted the feeling to myself as I orgasmed, and it ended up being one of the most emotionally charged climaxes I’ve ever experienced.  Drenched in sweat, experiencing slight vaginal soreness mixing with post-orgasmic shivers and shakes, I knew my perception of sex had changed – probably for the better.  I smiled, pleased with myself – pleased with my partner (technique and size do matter, fellas).  Penetrated, pleased, and partnered.  Yes, a violent act creating a new me.

Baby Oil

Want a massage?

He led her to his bedroom, gently removing her clothes, leaving her bare with only her lace panties on. Placing both hands on her shoulders he motioned for her to lie on her stomach, while he gently applied a generous dosage of baby oil all over her body.

His hands wandered around her shoulders, kneading them gently, and as his hands travelled down her spine she gradually relaxed and was soon turned on by his bare hands against her bare skin, aware of the fact that he was going over her butt, which was only covered by the sheer lace of her panties.

But that came off soon after. She was vulnerable, and she subconsciously found herself spreading her legs slightly when his hand caressed her buttcheek and down to the back of her thighs. Giving it both a good rub, he slipped a finger between the folds of her pussy. The cool air from the air conditioning, together with the anticipation from the massage had left it wet, much to his delight.

She moaned slightly, lifting her hips off the bed to give him better access.

As his fingers massaged her clit, she felt him getting on top of her, and was pleasantly surprised to feel his bare skin on hers, and his already hard cock pressed against her butt. She reached behind and caressed it gently, the action causing him to quicken his fingers and illiciting a moan from them both.

You’re so wet.

He turned her over, coming face to face with her for the first time that night at such distance. He gently swept the hair away from her face and kissed her gently on her eyes, closed in ecstasy. His fingers had by then slipped into her pussy and was fingering her slowly.

He wanted to savour every inch of her.

His lips, caressing her skin, found her nipples and sucked on them gently, increasing the pace of each thrust of his fingers.

Let me blow you.

No, let me fuck you.

She didn’t resist, he got on top of her again, and without warning, thrusted his hard cock into her.

Fuck you’re so tight.

It was his first fuck in ages and he was hungry. She welcomed that with her hips matching his every thrusting motion.

Her arms and legs were now wrapped around him, her head tilted backwards in ecstasy, his face buried between her breasts.

And they fucked each other til both could cum no more.

As he lay beside her after, he propped himself up on one arm and looked at her peacefully sleeping face. With one finger he trailed her skin, laced with the scent of baby oil, silently wondering when he’d see her next.


I press the doorbell and the door opens within seconds. You see me and grin.

You’re 15 minutes late.

I’ll make it up to you.

Before you say anything else I push you into the room, kissing you fiercely on the lips. Soon we’re on the bed, and our hands are all over each other, clothes all over the floor. I straddle you as you lean back against the headboard, panting slightly.

Missed me?

My lips found your ears, and I’m nibbling them, licking, my tongue flicking in and out of your earlobes, blowing gentle air onto them. You moan slightly as your hands find my breasts, caressing them gently, kneading them, rolling my nipples between your fingers.

The tension and anticipation is killing us both, we’re grinding our hips against each other hungrily, wanting more.

But we both know better.

You slip a finger in between my legs and I gasp. You always know when to hit the spot and with how much pressure. With each thrust of your fingers I’m pressing myself against you, my breasts up against your face and you take the chance to lick them and nibble on my nipples.

By this time, sheer lust has taken over. We ignore all previous agreements about taking things slow.

You tell me to lie on my stomach. I spread my knees wide, waiting.

You plunge into me and we both moan. My ass is rubbing against your balls each time you thrust, and while I’m rubbing my clit, occasionally reaching behind to stroke your balls, your hands are on my breasts, squeezing them gently.

Our moans get louder by the thrust, and as the thrusts get more furious, I’m grabbing the sheets, the pillows, your hands, anything I can find.

Within minutes we’re both lying side by side on the bed, your cum trickling down my breasts.

Let’s get you cleaned up, and ready for Round 2.