Sex Toys and Adult Toys: The Bad List

So busy discussing what sex toys and adult toys are good that some of us forget to make lists of those vibrators, dildos, and other sex toys we should avoid. This is a financial thing, a performance thing, and a general dislike thing. Yes, it is a thing, the wrench in myism.

Here are the top ten toys that made my Shameful Sex Toys List:

Starting from the best of the worst …

10. Vibro-Pod

Preface: Yes, I know some of you love the Dickens out of this vibrating egg sex toy. So for some of you: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …” We all have different preferences, but the harder I tried to find something positive to say about the Vibro-Pod, the more I came to dislike this sex toy. I love my iPod as much as I love a wonderful sex toy. Why not merge the two industries for a little fun – some music to aid my masturbation. Yeah, right. If it only worked out that way.
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Two Sexy Announcements

Life is one evolving series of announcements. In keeping with the spirit of life, and hoping to keep you in tune with the latest sex-related news, I have some interesting news to share with you.

1. VibeReview, as was announced in the previous post, has several articles and reviews featured on DivineCaroline. Much like Digg and other social networking sites, DivineCaroline relies heavily on reader votes to place articles and reviews in advantageous situations for additional exposure. Put simply: The more readers hit the “I Liked It” avatar at the bottom of articles, the more exposure the article will receive.

Since many of you are VibeReview affiliates and/or reviewers, your support would be appreciated. Though your altruistic nature might be hibernating at the moment, you might also consider that each of you will benefit either directly or, more likely, indirectly by helping to promote these articles. After all, VibeReview enjoys sharing its success with affiliates and reviewers – and in a lot of different ways that may or may not go unnoticed.

Here are the articles currently on the site:

Beginner’s Sex Toy Guide
Introduction Guide to the G-Spot
Pearl Thunder Review

Please take 5-10 minutes to check out DivineCaroline and vote for all VibeReview’s content. The more popular these articles are, the more aggressive VibeReview can be with making decisions about future writers, reviewers, and so much more. We have plans, big plans for the future.

Additionally, if any of you use StumbleUpon, please take a minute to add VibeReview to your favorites page and write a 1-2 sentence review of the site. Every little bit helps.

2. Please check out and support The New York City Sex Bloggers 2009 Calendar Project. Some of the industry’s best writers and most recognized names are participating in the project, which is an extension of Sex Work 101, created by the everywhere-all-the-time, talented Audacia Ray. This exciting project aims to do away with the stigma associated with sex work while simultaneously promoting rights for sex workers.

Here is a breakdown of how you can support the project:

We’d like to offer everyone, readers and fellow bloggers, the opportunity to join in the fun and excitement, as well as promote your own blog if you have one. That means for $30 you can buy a day in our calendar and personalize it. If you’re a blogger you can have your blog url on your day, or if you’re a reader, any personal message – you can wish us luck or send a greeting to your favorite blogger or celebrate your birthday or anniversary – up to 80 characters will be printed on your day. That $30 includes one pre-ordered calendar (shipping is extra) with all funds in excess of our expenses going directly to Sex Work Awareness. You can purchase as many additional days as you like depending upon availability for $10 each. Since this is a 2009 calendar, we are on an extremely tight schedule and can only sell days through October 1st, 2008. We hope you will consider this a fun and creative way to promote your blog or just as a way to share in the pleasure and excitement this project has been bringing us in our effort to make our community and world a better, more sex-positive place to live.

So, yes. Please support this worthy cause by purchasing a calendar, writing a short post about the project and/or spreading the word to your sexy friends.

Thanks to all!

-Heather

DivineCaroline: Networking and Socializing for Women

Anyone else visit iVillage.com frequently? I used to spend hours and hours reading the pro-woman content posted on iVillage. However, in the last two or three months I realized that I was spending more and more time, trying to find an article or editorial bit that appealed to me. I don’t have enough time in my life trudge through a bunch of frogs to find the prince (or princess!).

Task. Journey. Search.

To find a new source of information. To find a community of female writers, professionals, sexual enthusiasts, intelligence, class, and maturity …

The Holy Grail of Pro-Woman Content: DivineCaroline
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Human Trafficking, Slavery, and Twisted A-Holes

Slavery still exists in the world today. A lucrative trade and business, human trafficking is becoming one the top criminal activities around the world today. Labor exploitation, sexual exploitation … any kind of exploitation possible … all for a profit, enforced with beatings, rape, threats, lies, and possibly, death. Though some international leaders have spoken out against this practice, more cooperation, education, and legislation are needed to put an end to this unjust practice.

According to the Somaly Mam Foundation, “Many people are shocked to hear that more people are enslaved today than at the height of the transatlantic slave trade.”

Somaly Mam, the reputable Cambodian activist and creator of the foundation, was sold into sexual slavery as a young girl.  During her period of servitude, she was forced to work in brothels, where she experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.  After escaping the evil clutches of sexual slavery, she decided to dedicate her life to fighting human trafficking, helping victims receive necessary assistance as they re-enter society.

The Somaly Mam Foundation’s Info:

“The Somaly Mam Foundation is a 501c3 nonprofit public charity working to end slavery. With the vision and leadership of world renowned Cambodian activist, Somaly Mam, the foundation strives to get to the root of human trafficking. The global vision will allow the activities currently in the United States and South East Asia to expand to other countries around the world.”

If you are interested in learning more about human trafficking, please visit the links below:

Human Trafficking.org
Human Trafficking Search
Polaris Project: ActionCenter

Sex and Sweet Tea

So I have this new ritual of drinking sweet tea after sex.  If I try to drink it any other time, it doesn’t taste as good to me.  If I drink something else besides sweet tea after sex, whatever I chose to drink tastes horrible.  Imagine the horror I experienced two weekends ago, after returning from my trip, when I had no sweet tea in the house but had a whole lot of sex.  Robbed.  Short-changed.  That’s how I felt.

Is it strange that I’ll imagine myself drinking sweet tea right before I orgasm?  Man, I have some strange rituals.  I can’t figure out why I get stuck in these rituals.  It’s not like I set out to devote sweet tea as my after-sex drink … it just happened over a period of time.

It made me think of other strange sex-related rituals and phases of my past:

– sucking my own fingertips as I orgasm

– putting a small hand towel on the side of the bed to wipe my lover’s face

– making sure Depeche Mode Violator or Music for the Masses was playing during sex

– running around my house or apartment completely naked, making my lover chase me

– kissing the tip of my lover’s nose (gentle pecks almost obsessively)

– drinking this crazy XTC energy drink (when I lived in California) before any kind of sexual activity

– forcing my lover to lay on the floor as he makes love to me from behind, in front of a mirror

No big deal.  Nothing too shocking.  I’m sure there’s stuff I am forgetting about, but at periods of time, the above fetishes/rituals/phases added excitement during foreplay, during sex, or after sex.  Or all three.

Anyway, anyway.  Sweet Tea is my new thing and my lover knows that if I don’t get my sweet tea, I am going to kick his butt.

He came home with six gallons of sweet tea the other night.  A nice gesture, but it also meant he thought it was going to be a busy weekend.  Yikes.  Well, it wasn’t the weekend event that he probably wanted (too tired), but we had some fun, I drank my tea, and I have plenty for this week.

Disturbing John McCain Video

Warning:  Do not watch this video if you want to avoid seeing pictures of dead people.

I found this video on YouTube, but it’s one of the better compilations I’ve seen over the last couple of months.  Motivations and intentions aren’t always hidden.  Most declarations are done in the open, with people watching and listening – only these declarations are shared openly with those that share the same beliefs.  Thus, a lot of these declarations rarely end up on the news.

It seems McCain, Bush, Rummsy, and other neoconservatives find humor in all the death, lies, and manipulation.  Astounding.  Unbelievable. Gut-wrenching.  Watch and listen to this video as our leaders joke about war, death, destruction, abuse of power.  A glimpse into the minds of those who seek the Highest Office for the worst purposes.

What is your reaction to the video?  Does it bother you?  Do you consider it be bad or good propaganda?  I am interested in reading a variety of people’s reactions.

Palin Ain’t So Appealin’

Dementia meet John McCain.  McCain meet Dementia.

John McCain picked his Vice President running mate, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska.

Wait.  Who is that?

Exactly.  Now, you won’t catch me bashing too many politicians for limited experience.  We need a new breed of Washington Politics, which means new voices are important.  After all, Obama doesn’t have as much experience as John McCain.

Fine.  Palin is relatively new to this political game and I can dig it.  No worries on that front, right?

Except that McCain is 72 years old, has battled cancer, and is a stress case.  I don’t wish the man any bad luck, but it is very concievable that he could pass away during office.  So, this two-year politician from Alaska with zero foreign policy experience and limited national economic experience would take over?

Uh, call me crazy, but that’s one of the strangest VP picks, ever.

Well, it’s not that strange at all.  McCain seems to believe Hillary supporters and women, in general, are morons.  He seems to believe that because we share the same body parts as Palin that – sure, we’ll vote her into office, helping McCain sweep up those dissatisfied voters away from Obama.  Yes, because Palin is a woman we will vote for her.

Not me.  I consider it an insult to all the challenges I’ve faced as a woman.  In fact, it pissed me off.

Some Hillary supporters might vote Independent, use the write-in ballot, or go for McCain.  Only a few women will stray from Obama, as McCain isn’t going to manipulate most women into believing this was done for the advancement of women.  I’ve got your choice right here, asshole.

Sarah Palin Info:

1. Creationism as part of school lessons, particularly science class.  She backed off her original statement concerning this issue, but her mentioning it is enough to scare me away.

2. Pro-life.  A term I hate, because it implies that some women are PRO DEATH.  Anyway, she takes the abortion issue to entirely new level of absurdity.  She is in favor of women having babies that result from rape and/or incest!  Her claim is that she has faced the abortion issue, having chosen to keep her baby with Down’s Syndrome.  I can respect that, but allow other women the right to choose – especially if they’ve been raped.

3. She believes Global Warming is a myth.  Science isn’t of much interest to her.  (She would fit right in with the Bush Administration.)

4. She’s currently under investigation for abuse of power.  Long story, with all the family dramatics.  A bit disconcerting that she’s under investigation this early into her political career.  Whatever.  Innocent until proven guilty, so we’ll wait to see.  More and more is coming out about her role in this matter.  She is refusing to release her emails about this issue, claiming executive power and security would be threatened.  Looks like the courts will get involved.  Sound familiar?  Yes, the Bush-Cheney administration.  Transparency does away with conspiracy theories.

5. Claims to have fought Big Oil over taxes.  Seems to be true.  However, what she’s not discussing at any great length is her desire to drill for oil in Alaska.  She rejected admitting that Polar Bears are an endangered species, though scientists and biologists have concluded otherwise.  Normally you might fall back on the “She’s not into science thing”, but the truth is, to have admitted Polar Bears are an endangered species would prevent Big Oil from drilling oil in the refuge.  Oops.

6. Claims to have shot down the Bridge to Nowhere deal.  Not true.  She wanted it to go through but after the project was recognized as a national disgrace, she distanced herself from it.  Of course, she kept the money Congress gave to her for it.  Earmarks, right.

7. Has a degree in journalism, with a minor in political science.  Once was a Miss Congeniality and beauty pageant winner, a star high school basketball player.  Commercial fisherman, like her husband, and a stay-at-home mother.  A little over two years of political experience, ranging from mayor of several thousand people to Governor of Alaska, which is the size of medium-sized metropolitan cities in the US.  Basically, she is responsible – as Governor of Alaska – as a mayor would be for a medium-sized city.

8. NRA member.  She hunts.  Even eats Moose Stew.

9. Been in Vogue.  Now on the cover of People Magazine, using her Downs Syndrome baby as a prop for votes.  How do we know this?  None of her other kids were in the picture.

10. Seems likable enough when speaking.  Seems intelligent and comfortable in front of a lot of people.  She hadn’t met John McCain until a week or two ago – or so the reports say.  Kinda scary to think neither of them are familiar with one another.

So, yes.  No way.  Never.  Though she is a woman, she doesn’t represent what I feel is important as a woman.  And judging by the comments on other blogs, the only women who like the choice are women who were going to vote for McCain anyway.  I just can’t see Pro-Choice women, agnostics, or atheists voting the Republican ticket – even if some are bummed out about Hillary Clinton.  To think – Supreme Court Justice Nominations with these two people.  Yeah, I’ll pass.

In my female opinion … Palin ain’t so appealin’.

Update:  A lot of rumors flying.  We’ll write a new post as more information is available.

I’m Back, I’m Bad, and I’m Tan

How many of you missed me?  That many of you?!!  Well, I am back from my vacation to Puerto Rico.  Tanning than ever, more relaxed than I have been in years, and fully charged and ready to get down and dirty with whatever comes my way until the next vacation.

Here are a couple of personal admissions and observations that smacked my brain during the trip:

Most of my fears have no basis in reality – that is to say, I have no justification for fearing certain things.  Yet I am still plagued by the strangest fears in normal situations that produce an overwhelming anxiety in my mind and then my body.

The combination of airplanes and flying freaks me out.  I hate flying.  Planes freak me out.  And I have no reasonable explanation as to why I have this dominating fear.  Every jerk, drop, or bounce – I start looking around at people’s facial expressions for comfort, the kind of body language exploration that will grant me a moment or two of serenity.  I’ll look for a nod of approval so that I can finally relax.  The whole “I know how you feel; I’ve been there” response without words.

I eventually worked myself up on this short flight (like five or six hours) to the point that sleeping became my sole remedy.  I can’t figure out why I am afraid of flying, which is what bothers me the most.  I flew back and forth from my father’s city every Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthday, or any cause for celebration since I was a kid because my parents were divorced.  I never freaked out when I was younger, so this is a relatively new sense of emotional discomfort.

Regardless, I made it through the flight.  There and back.  And now I am home bragging about how I managed to sleep my way into forgetting that I was thousands of miles in the air, high above deep oceans and massive cities.  Maybe this was a one time event (wrapped up into two flights) for me?  I’m not sure, but I hope that’s the case.

While in Puerto Rico I refused to stay on the resort property.  I spent several hours each night sitting in the hot tub or swimming in the pool, but during the day I was out and about, mixing it up with the locals, who I found to be quite friendly and helpful.  Why go on vacation to another country and sit by a pool or hang out with people I could visit with in my own country?  I could have saved a lot of money by just staying in the US if that’s what I wanted.

So, yeah.  I said screw that … I am going to snorkel, swim, eat, and whatever else with an unfamiliar culture.  Great, great experience.  The food, fantastic.  Loved every dish at each restaurant.  I even managed to force down squid and sea snails.  Yuck, right?  The stuff tasted wonderful.  Kinda like chicken with a rubbery texture.  I figured both would be somewhat slimy, but that wasn’t the case.  If you ever plan on visiting San Juan or Fejardo, I can help you find the best spots to eat at.  (Most of the better restuarants are expensive, so keep that in mind.)

I took sex toys with me.  Several of my favorite vibrators, my favorite dildo, and of course, my lovely fella.  Lots of sex, several times a day.  I’m not the most exciting lover on most days, as I am so worn out with work.  I need to mix a little pleasure into my life, especially seeing as I am in the adult toy business.  It becomes all too easy to pull out a toy and please myself in a few minutes, whereas my guy is ready for a long night of sex and experimentation.

Part of it is having the kids and working so many hours, but the other part, I think, is the saturation of sex-related themes in my work life.  I have a libido; I am … Well, I am lazy lover, or have been over the last 4-5 months.  This trip allowed me enough time and relaxation to really open up.  I was bad.  A bad, bad girl.  We had sex in the pool, hot tub, and on the beach.  Public sex!  I hadn’t done that in a long time, so it was an enthralling experience.  And the naughtiest of times in our room, which overlooked the ocean. My sex toys, too, were used in new and innovative ways that, for whatever reason, hadn’t ever occured possible.

Trash.  I don’t consider myself to be the best environmentalist.  But – I get really upset about seeing trash everywhere.  I’ve been known to pick up my neighbors’ trash frequently, if only to keep my sanity within grasp.  If I see trash on the ground, even in the city, I pick it up.  I get so pissed off when I see trash laying on the ground.  In fact, it’s one of the few things that make me angry.  Puerto Rico is full of trash: cigarette buds are everywhere, beer cans on the beach, diapers sitting in the grass, wrecked car parts laying all over the street.  And in the ocean, I noticed all of these things and more (even a Halloween costume!) laying on the sandy bottom as I snorkeled.

I fished out trash, threw it on the beach, and eventually put my new collection of discards in a trash can.  The locals watched me like I was crazy, wondering what the hell I was doing.  I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t walk or swim away with all that trash in the ocean.  And, most of all, I couldn’t understand why anyone would throw away his or her shit in the ocean or on the beach.  This happened at most of the beaches we frequented.  It was a sad, disgusting sight still bothering me.

The resort itself wasn’t very clean, either.  When I mentioned this to the manager, he responded by saying, “This is a third world country.”  At which time, I asked him, “Is this a third world resort?  Because if it is, I need a third world hotel rate, because I significantly overpaid.”  He didn’t like that response, so he followed it up with, “It did rain several days ago and the river probably washed up most of the trash you are referring to.”  Again, I retorted, “Did the river wash tons of trash under my hotel room’s balcony?”  He took a few notes and said, “I will mention this to the general manager.” He wrote something down, but it had little to do with the trash we discussed.

Small cars rock.  Sort of.  Don’t ever drive a big car or a truck in Puerto Rico.  The roads are surprisingly narrow and people do not slow down, so there were a few times that we barely managed to escape a collision.  The police officers drive with their lights on for no apparent reason.  People honk for no real reason at all.

If you don’t like beggars coming up to your car in the city, you will dislike Puerto Rico, since locals flood each and every stop sign and traffic light, seeking free money or for drivers to purchase cold beverages or tropical fruit.  No one is rude or demanding, or expects anything.  It’s their version of business mingling in a society that lacks jobs, education, and overall economic advancement.  But this process works for them, as many people preferred to purchase beverages from their cars rather than pull over at a gas station.

So, I had a great time, learned a lot about my fellow human beings and myself, and found enough time to mix in some sexy pleasure.  Plus all the lounging on the beach and snorkeling in the ocean.  Oh, and I found a massive conch shell and gigantic starfish on the Seven Seas Beach in Fejardo.  Both sea creatures were alive, which added a lot of excitement.  I plan on posting some pictures in the coming days – if I don’t get too behind with catching up.

Hope everyone has been doing well.

‘Obama For President’ Discount

The political calendar is full of boring retorts that have nothing to do with changing the country for the better. To liven up the situation, VibeReview decided to launch its new ‘Obama For President” Coupon this afternoon. If you want to save a few bucks during these trying economic times and you want to show some love for Obama, this is the right coupon for you.

Obama For President Coupon

You can use the 10% coupon over and over and over until election day. Not a bad deal at all.

And apparently some Diggs are being thrown around:

Obama and Vibrators

The majority of the country went with “Wanted Dead or Alive” during the last election. Why not go with sex toys for equality. Sure, it’s not the catchiest idea in the world, but at least everyone is so busy pleasing him or herself (or each other) that we can’t cause too many problems. Staying busy, getting busy, and having fun – that’s the key.

Sex Toys and Texas

I’m not going to spend a whole lot of time discussing the ongoing battle between Texas politicians and religious groups versus sex toys, adult toy retailers, and people who enjoy a good buzz or two. Why does it matter what another person or couples do in the privacy of their home? If both individuals are consenting adults, the government shouldn’t have a say in his or her or their affairs. Apparently and thankfully, the law has spoken in agreement, since sex toys are now legal in Texas.

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, though, seems determined to push his luck. Will he pursue this “cause” to the highest level? Seems Texas is finished with this debate and unless the Supreme Court wants to waste its precious time on plastic gizmos that give men and women pleasure, Texas might as well view itself as the Sex Toy State, with Alabama lagging behind.

Mind you, the State of Texas now taxes topless bars to fund state services. Yes, purchasing a sex toy for private pleasures is obscene, wrong, and immoral – but we’ll tax the hell out of “titty” bars because state funds are running low! The hypocrisy is sickening. While I would never dream of being a topless dancer or owning that type of bar, I am fine with women and/or men choosing erotic dancing as their profession. If you want to dance for money and it works for you, who am I to tell you what is right or wrong? It might not be right for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s not right for you.

My point is simple: the State of Texas wants to ride the back of a largely “public” sex-related industry, taxing it to replenish dwindling state funds, while at the very same moment ban a sex-related industry that focuses on providing women and men and couples with sex toys for their own “private” use. I assure you that a tax – oh, yes – a tax on sex toys is coming, as soon as Greg Abbott decides how far he wants to push this issue.

We live in a country where health insurance and pharmaceuticals are afterthoughts for many people, because they simply cannot afford to take care of basic health concerns.

A place where education of all forms, especially for K-12, is falling behind our competitors in the global economy. (Texas education is, without a doubt, lacking substance and performance.)

A land where some man with a holy roller agenda can tell a woman what she should or should not do with her own body.

A fairy tale creation where imaginary heroes and leaders can wage illegal wars through manipulating the public into agreement, with devilish lies and schemes.

A wonderful place of freedom where politicians believe it’s alright for employers to discriminate against people of differing sexual orientations and gender issues.

But you can bet your ass if they can’t eradicate what they view as “immoral” or “obscene”, they’ll tax the living hell out of it. Unless it is a corporate golf buddy promising campaign contributions and future vacation hot spots. (Just don’t go hunting with Dick Cheney – he’s a bad shot.)

How is it that alcohol companies, tobacco companies, pharmaceutical companies, real estate and banking industries – yes, that they can cause whatever damage they want, to whomever they wish, without suffering extreme consequences? All made more insane by the fact that jerk offs like Greg Abbott waste state funds and taxes on attempting to ban sex toys! As if the State of Texas doesn’t have enough problems to deal with: drugs, violent crimes, hate crimes, death penalty, murder, rape, gangs, teenage pregnancy, poverty, poor educational infrastructure … all the important issues.

/Rant Over

Sex Toy Theft, Criminals, and Fallen Angels

Consider the following Henry Morgan quote:

A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can’t help himself.

Sex toy thievery. Take the above quote and apply it to out of control sex toy fetishes. Want an example of someone sexing out beyond their means? Screw it, I’ll give you two recent examples of individuals who recently stole sex toys in the most bizarre of circumstances, in the strangest ways.

I can’t remember sex toy theft being a major issue in the past, but with adult toys becoming mainstream sexual enhancement devices, I guess we will witness a revival of peculiar sex toy incidences.

The first story:

Man Pleads Guilty to Sex Toys Theft

Daniel Edward Ray broke into three sex toy stores in Springfield, Illinois, back on January 24, 2008. He pleaded ‘no contest’ to the charges. His sentence hearing is scheduled for September, 2008. He used a baseball bat to bash in the windows of one sex toy shop and then, in all his brilliance, decided to use his car as battering ram for the other two stores. Dude was straight desperate to get his hands on some sex toys, and not just a few – but a lot of sex toys.

His ex-girlfriend ratted him out to the cops, explaining that Daniel Edward Ray had a little something-something for sex stuff. [Who doesn’t? But that doesn’t mean the craziest of pervs are going to smash their car into the front doors and windows of the local sex shop.] The “sex toy bandit”, as the local press referred to him, was captured on surveillance cameras during his moment of passion, and left behind traces of blood and – get this – fingernails. At first he denied the allegations but certainly came around when the police showed him the evidence.

He blames his methamphetamine addiction as the root of his troubles. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Or maybe the dude just has a thing for stealing strange shit. He was on parole for burglary at the time of sex toys theft, so he’s looking at hardcore jail time – which means, like, six months in jail.

The second story:

Pastor Succumbs to Psalm 69 Sexual Urges, Breaks Into Home, and Steals Woman’s Sex Toy and Lube

On July 25, 2008, a South Carolina pastor, Scott Murray, broke into a woman’s home, raided her panty drawer, and stole one bottle of lube and an unidentified sex toy.  Felony burglary and larceny charges have been filed.  Repressed sexuality comes out in the strangest ways, yes?  Bizarre. Funny enough, this guy was part of the OUTREACH program.

He stole a used sex toy, which reminds of the Used Sex Toy Listing on Craigslist that came out a few years back. Only this pastor was for real, whereas the listing was a complete hoax. I know some wild ass people and none of them would ever consider stealing a used sex toy, especially if it means breaking into someone’s home to get it. Why are the religious freaks the ones who are involved in more sexual scandals than anyone else? Repressed sexuality, I guess. All that pent up sexual energy screws with normal brain function.

Shocked! Armageddon is here! Pastor surprises congregation with sex toy fetish:

Need Some ‘Naughty’ Satisfaction? Duh.

How many times have you read “Free Sex Videos” while clicking, clacking your way from one website to another? Too many times. I know, I know: You are inundated by lame sex sites with hard-to-operate clips that, seriously, fail to load properly or end before you’ve hit the orgasm jack pot. But – all in all, despite your frustrations, you keep looking for that one directory site that has quality clips, previews, and movies.

Am I going to shamelessly promote a “free sex video” directory site? You bet your hot buns, I am. I’m not going to promote just any ol’ porn site, though, because I care too much about my time, your time, everyone’s time recommending some shady directory that is nothing more than a link farm. I spend so much time at the computer that it’s impossible to avoid looking at naked women or men or both, so I am frequently aroused throughout the day and need some type of alleviation. Ah, yes! Internet porn – but only the free kind.

(By the way, I loudly curse the world when I want to masturbate with porn and then, usually, find out: “Gosh, uh. So this link is taking me to four different sites and no damn video yet.” I stubbornly remove my hand from a once-wet vagina, for a one-hand-typing session to find the right porn site. No bueno, not at all – ever.)

So, anyway, here is my new favorite Free Sex Video directory:

Naughty

You should visit this site for all your immediate porn needs. That’s what I’ve been doing recently, as much as I can. Chronic masturbator on the prowl. It’s too hard to resist losing myself on Naughty. The Daily Free Porn Videos section is a great starting place to browse new porn clips. (I have this thing for squirting, so I am constantly looking to see what new videos are uploaded!)

Are you a junkie for celebrity sex news? Guilty. There’s plenty of that available, too. If you need your naughty celebrity fix, there’s plenty of it for your yearning eyes. I am taking comfort in knowing that I am not alone in my celebrity fixations, which is especially true of sexy celebrity news. Out of the closet, bare. Now you know. Are you going to laugh at me? Ugh times twenty-five.

Adult Webcams

Are they still popular, like really popular? Or are those days of computer-to-computer masturbation finished? I still remember my first sexual webcam experience. I wondered, “Am I acting too desperate? Shouldn’t I put up a fight, trying to resist the urge to see what it’s all about?” Then I came to my senses, unloaded my apprehensions, and got right down to business. I hadn’t done that in a while, not until I found Naughty’s Free WebCams. Real people doing wild ass things. In favor of it, always. It’s much better than watching some professionals do his or her thing (literally and figuratively), because the action seems to flow without any “this is fake” feelings. People just having a good time, trying to explore their voyeuristic tendencies.

Check out Naughty when you get a chance. Take a break, watch some porn, and have a good time. You won’t solve problems of world peace, but at least you’ll get off while watching quality clips or an amateur’s webcam. The webmaster is a friend, so show him some love!

Catalina Loves

If your local pharmacy or shady convenience store is out of NoDoz, I know who is to blame.

Blame Catalina. But don’t be too hard on her – she’s working her ass off to provide all of us with fantastic content to read and look at!

She might as well own stock in the company. Her frenetic posting pace is unbelievable. And unbelievably effective, considering how Catalina never sacrifices quality for quantity. If you are looking for a blog with a variety of topics discussed, you should visit Catalina Loves. From in-depth sex toy reviews to fascinating interviews with the industry’s most unique performers, Catalina covers it all.

Dependability is important. Why invest your energy and time into reading a blog that is rarely updated, leaves you hanging, or fails to deliver time and again? Rest assured, friends, you can depend on Catalina to share her opinions and thoughts every single day. Always fresh-fresh, as Outkast might say, her sheer topic diversity is enough to overwhelm a person. Check in everyday or you might miss something.

A personal touch. With shades of professionalism. You get to experience the best characteristics of both worlds in each post when you visit Catalina Loves (or any of her many blogs). She’s not afraid to share herself with the world while at the same time maintaining an aura of mysteriousness.

Naughty. Playful. Sexy. Humble. Dedicated. Erotic. Fuckingdownrightentertaining.

Our Orgasmic Scale:

Are you serious? How does one measure this kind of perfection?

The flood gates are bursting open. Open your mouth, close your eyes, moan-to-a-scream – it’s going to be a gusher this time around. Dual orgasm with goddess fluids watering the entire room!

The Beautiful Kind

Save-Me-From-Myself Medicine. You need it, you want it, you crave it. If only to escape those annoying societal imposed labels. Unlearn everything. Forget about your daily concerns one damn post at a time.

Problem is, the Blogger Highway is full of hyperbolic self-deprecation and glorified shock value that creates and supports a I-Am-Serious-About-Not-Being-Serious mentality that comes off as hallow and forced. Blah, boring. A real fuck-stick read on a bad day. Trudge, baby. Trudge.

The search is on, then off. For the a quality blog that infuses serious sexual discussions and humor – but none of that overextended humor, the kind that confuses invective language as satirical commentary. No reason to belittle individuals when you can shame his or her ideas. There is a difference, a big difference.

So, it’s time to take your medicine, to leave all your worries behind – to genuinely laugh at yourself for all the right reasons, differentiating between your silly opinions and who you are as a person.

Your medicine: The Beautful Kind

Consider this introduction on a recent post:

If I had to list the three things I hate most in life, poop would be #1 or #2 (crocs would be in the top 5, Ann Coulter, top 10). From the sounds of people’s comments on this post from last week, poop is on their, um, shit list, too.

I laughed out loud the first time I read it. The word POOP itself reminded me of how I feel while sitting on a porcelain throne and someone is watching me. I’ve had those boyfriends who would barge into the bathroom while I am taking care of business. Always, always I feel sort of self-conscious – similar to how I feel when my dog takes a crap in my neighbor’s front yard and he witnesses the glorious event.

Plus, including Ann Coulter in a poop discussion seems rather appropriate.

Gems. Snatch ’em when you see them. The Beautiful Kind might as well be a gold standard for adult blogging. Check out some of the comments after each post. Funny shit, people.

Ask The Slut is your Hot for Teacher section of the blog. (I am a recovering Van Halen fan. Sue me.) The Slut doesn’t hold back, but will hold your hand as she guides you toward the truth (her viewpoint). People send her all kinds of questions – some of a more serious tone while other questions are playful. The best part is that The Slut knows when to attack, when to relax, and how to proceed without violently shoving someone over that fragile mental edge. This is the kind of discussion that you wanted from your 250.00 Quack-Ass-Shrink.

Best of all, The Beautiful Kind is updated frequently with new posts, images and comments, and the environment (from posts to comments) is friendly. It’s the kind of blog that appeals to women and men of all sexual orientations and experience levels.

Our Orgasmic Scale:

The Beautiful Kind earns a Dual Orgasm of the greatest magnitude. Enjoy this G-spot and clitoral orgasm for as long as you can. Your can’t muffle these moans. Why would you want to?

Vaginal Douching: An Itch Away from Perfection

Indoctrinated. Female products, everywhere. Not all are bad. In fact, many are useful. What about vaginal douche products? Is vaginal douching this important? After all, since you were kid, you’ve been exposed to vaginal douche products at your local drugstores and grocery markets. The sheer volume of products must mean vaginal douching is important – or at least has some value or contributes something positive to female hygiene. Right?

Only if a doctor views it as a treatment, in which she or he will give you specific instructions about what product to use, how frequently, and for how long. Even then, ladies, you should ask your doctor why he’s recommending douching and if there is another alternative.

Here are a few facts about douching:

1. A “bad” vaginal odor can be covered up by douching, but the cause of the bad odor has not been addressed; thus, this is only a temporary solution to a potentially serious problem – maybe a bacterial infection, urinary tract infection, yeast infection, or an STD. A foul odor originating from your vagina is your body’s way of saying, “Pay attention to me! Something isn’t right. Go to the doctor!” – unless you refuse to wash your vagina on a regular basis, which is remedied by – well, taking a warm shower and using paraben-free and glycerin-free soap. Contrary to what myths people spread about vaginal odor, even the healthiest vaginal environment has its own unique odor.

2. Your vagina has its own natural cleansing system that produces mucous to flush out blood, semen, and vaginal discharge. After douching, women wash away important vaginal flora that helps regulate the acidity levels. As this acidity level increases or decreases, straying from the natural balance maintained by vaginal flora, bacteria levels increase – which leads to infections and other female problems. More harm than good, and only for temporary fixes.

3. Ladies: Douching does not prevent the transmission of STDs. This is a myth, if believed factual, that leads to serious consequences. There are many women who believe they can wash away the potential danger of last night’s sexual intercourse. No, no, no. Abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent STDs. Condoms, of course, are the next best method. Safer sex, which doesn’t include douching. Some studies are being conducted to see if douching might actually make it easier to get an STD, as the vagina’s natural acidity level is compromised – which makes it more difficult for the vagina to fight off infections. Could it be that short-term or long-term douching leads to an even greater risk of catching STDs? Stay tuned for more information on this issue. We’ll let you know when more information is available.

4. Pregnancy. No, douching does not prevent pregnancy. Again, abstinence or safer sex is the way to go. Though some studies suggest that regular douching does effect the time-frame in which a women gets pregnant (usually takes longer than women who do not douche), douching should never be used as a birth control method. Ectopic pregnancies, also, have been linked to women who douche on a regular basis. No way, no how – Not gonna happen. The potential risks are far greater than the reward. (I am still trying to figure out what those rewards are – beyond the obvious “odor cover up.”)

If you notice these things, you should visit a doctor and stay away from douching:

1. Bad odor
2. Thick white-yellowish and/or green discharge
3. Burning, redness, stinging, or vaginal swelling (external/internal)
4. Uncomfortable or painful when urinating or during intercourse

Many women have been led to believe that the above symptoms are justifiable reasons to douche. That’s backward thinking. You want to address the causes of the above symptoms, not merely cover them up, which requires that you visit a doctor for examination, to see if these symptoms are caused by serious problems.

In our commercialized culture, these “quick fixes” seem to be legitimate solutions to common and uncommon problems. More sex education is required to combat the many myths associated with douching, specifically as it relates to birth control and STDs.

Personal Touch:

I used to douche. Yep. I started out douching in high school. I wanted to be “fresh” for my boyfriend. Not that he pressured me or anything. He probably didn’t even know what a douche was or why I would do it. I didn’t really know why I did it. Part of it, I believe, had something to do with my perception of womanhood, or what it meant to have finally “arrived” as a sexually active female – that douching is what you did, as if sex and douching went together like peanut butter and jelly. You have sex, you douche, and then have sex again.

I didn’t believe it prevented STDs or pregnancy, but I did believe douching was a female’s responsibility to her man and herself. To keep a clean, clean vagina – that was the goal. After douching off and on for several years, my vagina started itching. My solution: Douche more. Finally, I went to the doctor and found out, to my surprise, that douching can lead to yeast infections, which is exactly what I had. It took me a long time to get my vagina back to its natural acidity level, and there’s no way in hell, maybe even if a doctor recommends it, that I’ll douche again. I’ve gone through a similar phase with water lubes that contain irritating formulas, mostly those lubes that contain fragrances. I’ll discuss water lubes in more detail later this week.

If you’d like to read more about vaginal douching and safer sex, please visit these links:

MedicineNet.com
About.com
Planned Parenthood

Gah.

Its not that I don’t post enough. I do. I just don’t have enough time to sit down and write, ya know what I mean?

But I did post. Like 5 minutes prior to writing this.

I think WordPress doesn’t like me much though, because I did everything I was supposed to do. I write the post, put in the title, put it into the appropriate category and hit publish.

But nothing appeared.

So its not my fault.

On Sabbatical.

Ok kids, this week is going to be a busy week. So no updates til after the weekend.

On another note, I think I’ve pretty much grown out of the original intention of this blog and am probably ready to settle into something less raunchy, more serious. The sex might still come, but I think those of you who are here for the pictures can expect much less or none at all.

Sure, this is going to affect my readership but it probably wouldn’t matter to me if my original intent was to keep me writing when my brains are idle, right?

So anyway, more changes coming. Keep your eyes peeled.

See you guys next week!

On the Repository

The “Repository” tag from now on would be used to archive all my sexual encounters, and fantasies. Which means you’d be able to see that all my stories, both real and unreal, would be archived under “Repository”. This makes it easier for my own references and for those who only come here for the stories. It doesn’t matter to me if you wank to erotica, just don’t tell me if you wank to my erotica.

As to whether I’d make an explicit note as I’ve done previously to those stories which aren’t true, I’d probably stop doing that. So it’s up to you, if you are interested, in finding out whether they are real encounters or just fantasies. But hey, if you’re here for the sex, it shouldn’t matter much, would it?

Of course, if you find that having me separating fact from fiction is easier, do drop a note and I’ll make the necessary adjustments.

Blogroll

Somehow my blogging spurts always happens late at night, or early in the morning, depending on how you see it.

Anyway, from the Blogroll;

Notorious V-A-G (who has since migrated to Blogspot):  Rose Boy. I’m not into internet dating but it seems she’s been having a very very good time. And a guy with a cheesy picture of himself holding a rose next to his face? Closed eyes? Soft? Oh I wanttttt. Bonus if he has a baby face.

Now, how come I don’t get to meet guys like that?

Naughty By NatureDo Looks Matter? I suppose this pretty much sums up what every girl on the planet wants to say. In fact, I have something of my own to say too, but I’ll wait this one out.

On Holiday.

Will be away til the end of the coming week. Til then, take care y’all! 😉

Apologies.

I apologise for the lack of posts and stories lately. Apart from stuffing my face at Chinese New Year, school work is also fast catching up. Which roughly means that I would be swamped until the end of the week, so posts would be sporadic to say the least.

Random thoughts:

I don’t see how some people can not be able to process certain things in their head. Like, common sense. Like how, in the sea, big waves and choppy waters spell D.A.N.G.E.R while smooth and calm waters are relatively safer. Seems like common sense right? But apparently some people just cannot seem to process such thoughts in their head.

Just because I’m a girl, it doesn’t mean that I am naturally a Feminist. I think Feminism is a load of bullshit. ‘Nuff said.

Where are there so many bimbos in NUS?!? Just today I saw this cookie-cutter girl, dressed in one of those retro-type dresses with patterns on them that shops like to sell these days, complete with accessories. To top it all off, she was wearing this furry thing on her right wrist, which I could only conclude as either a very furry watch, or a very furry thingy that she ties her hair with. Oh, and a very tiny silver bag. It wasn’t tiny per se, but the little contraption was so narrow in width that I wondered how it was physically possible to squeeze anything into it. To give a good perspective, I figured a card the size of our average EZ-Link or Credit Card would not be able to fit into the bag even if it was inserted length wise. Oh, and this group of girls who were discussing everything about the mundane.

For the sake of clarification, cookie cutter girls are girls who basically look like everyone else. Their features may differ, but they have the same long straight hair, jet black/highlighted, or in one of those retro/mod cuts that some girls favour nowadays. They dress in the same kinds of fashion, whatever is “in fashion” at the moment, even if they don’t look good in them. Well, you get the picture.

And speaking of cookie cutter girls, why do so many people aspire to be like them? Just the other day, on two separate incidents, I was on the train heading out to town, and on both separate rides, there were two girls who looked like they were failing miserably to conform. Such a dirty word, it is. Both were, rather big sized (I am trying to refrain from using the word “whale” here), and were squeezed into one of those empire cut tube tops (I have no idea what the proper name is) that flare out and fall below their hips, and shorts/skirts so short that I’m sure if I were any shorter I could see things I don’t exactly want to see. On both occassions these two girls were with their male friends respectively, trying to look 100% hot and oh so woman.

They failed, horrible. In local terms, really cannot make it.

Which always makes me wonder why girls like to conform? Is there a certain comfort in looking like everybody else, even if they know full well no matter how hard they tried to conform, they’d never look like everyone else, and end up looking like a disaster?

On Hiatus.

Will be back in a couple of days.

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