Take A Bow..

prompted Madonna.

Many times I’ve been asked, and I’ve wondered what it means for me to blog. It started out as something a sort of inner sanctum, if you would, for my thoughts. I also thought it would be interesting to jot down bits and pieces of my sex life. Hey, we only live once. If there was a day I grow old and senile, I’d want to remember that my youth was fulfilling because I had a colourful sex life.

Then I got creative and decided to turn my own experiences into stories, which often led you guys into thinking I was actually writing fiction. But it didn’t really matter.

Somewhere along the way, the blog started to become an asylum for my thoughts as well, and a much needed pit stop for your sore eyes =P.

And then I got to know more and more people, some interesting, some infuriating, while others are just plain darlings.

Now I’m beginning to wonder if the blog has become more of a burden than that much needed sanctum it needed to be.

In case anyone else has doubts, this blog, unlike others, is honest. It is honest because I really have nothing much to hide and I really don’t care what anyone thinks. As long as I’m hiding behind the veil of anonymity I feel free enough to say what I want and to bare my soul.

But because this blog essentially chronicles my sex life and my deepest darkest secrets, giving everyone a key to my deepest darkest secrets means I am essentially stripped bare, for what else could be more intimate than disclosing my sexual life right?

But perhaps honestly may not necessarily be the best policy.

Disclosing myself like that means I am also vulnerable to people who think in real life, I am just like my blog, a one dimensional character who is preoccupied with sex.  And that can never be a good thing.

Which has led me to consider, on several occasions, if I should close the blog and start anew somewhere else. A blog with content that is not preoccupied with the notion of sex and instant physical gratification.

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14 Comments

  1. people who think that are less than one dimensional who are not honest enough to embrace their sexualities anw. and it’s their own problem 🙂

  2. kindred souls are the hardest to find, so many of them fail to see that there’s a person behind the blog, and every other line is veiled request “would you like to fuck me?” urgh.. it’s digusting but at the end of the day, we blog for ourselves, do they really matter?

  3. thalia: heh, oh well =)

    jess: i guess to a certain extent it does matter. like you said, kindred souls are hard to find, and sometimes you do find them through the most unlikely places. and sometimes them knowing too much of one side of who you are makes it difficult =)

    but then again, you reap what you sow

  4. Funny, I’ve been thinking similar thoughts… albeit tho my blog isn’t sexual. Perhaps it’s just that season 🙂

  5. sneexe: ahaha yeah prolly the season =)

  6. i think we all blog things for different reasons. the stuff i blog about is personal. more or less an open journal. i try to sanitize what i write so not to say here i am look at me. it’s vague enough that it could be me or not me. i try to leave out names where possible. and i don’t think i really mention anything that would embarrass me or my family.

    by trashing everything and starting over you will loose the history you have here. why not change the focus …

  7. The season.. *grins*

  8. lerxst: maybe..thanks for the perspective though =)

    Jack: *piak*

  9. i think its a writer’s block,. go live life, gather your thoughts, articulate them and then come back guns blazing. you need a sabbatical, period.

  10. Dear S,

    Amusement overcame me as my eyes pore over the sentence “I am also vulnerable to people who think in real life, I am just like my blog…” This just goes to show you how many people actually engage in thought. And do people’s opinions really matter to you that much?

    With the ever-increasing number of bloggers out in the blogmos (some of whom are also intellectually challenged), it might be wise to take a step away from the fray. Cloak yourself in another layer of anonymity if need be and adopt a new perspective of creative writing. Perhaps semi-autobiographies have bored you.

    “The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs
    of Apollo. You that way, we this way.”

    Regards.

  11. Yes, maybe =)

  12. let me know if you happen to start a new blog. i’ll definitely be interested to read. you have my email. 😉

  13. I’d prolly just slowly evolve this blog if I did wanted a change of direction, but we’ll see =)

  14. Well i agree with you Skye. We’re not all abt sex and physical intimacy. We are real people with real problems doing real things. We’re not just one-dimensional people!


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