“Why do you think she behaves the way she does?”

Sipping on my drink in self-contentment, I looked up to realise all eyes were on me. Ben was obviously expecting an answer, from me, no less.

“That she fucks around without a care in the world?”

I realised, this time, I was treading on dangerous ground. We were talking about Ben’s latest interest, some girl who didn’t seem to care for commitment, only going for the short-term enjoyment without concern for what happens in the long term.

“Because it helps her hide behind who she really is? That deep down inside she is also human. That she needs genuine care and concern from others, she needs love. The kind of unconditional love that everyone experiences. She loves but chooses to keep those she does close to her heart and not show it unless it the occasion calls for it. She’ll never show her real emotions in front of you because it shows you who she really is and she doesn’t want that to happen because she doesn’t want to form attachments, and she doesn’t want you to form an attachment to her. Because she knows that people do leave. One day either you or her is gonna just pack up and go and she doesn’t want to hurt herself, or hurt you. So while she seems like a cold-hearted bitch she really isn’t, she is just doing what it takes to protect herself, and you. Of course she treats every other person the same, so you don’t really know if she truly cares for you or she really doesn’t give a flying fuck.

So my suggestion to you, Ben, is to just give her what she wants. If she really wants to establish a real connection with you, she’ll take the initiative and you will take the hint, even though you never seem to get any.”

I sat back into my chair and chewed on my straw.

“How the hell do you know so much about her, if you haven’t even met her?”

I smiled and took a sip from my drink.




  1. Intuition? …or human commonality? Because no matter how tough and resilient we are, somewhere hidden we’re all human, all lonely, all needing love, all afraid of hurt and of hurting, and at least a little bit confused because we’re fluxed in a society which hasn’t satisfactorily acclimatised to changing gender dynamics.

    Sometimes it sux being female. And not just because of monthly pains either.

  2. sneexe: some people wear their hearts on their sleeves =)

    and yes it sux being female =P

  3. Nah. I think those are just excuses. Though I partly agree with the part that she also needs love and concern. I suspect that she is, in the other major part, a sado-masochist. She likes pain..though she’ll be shy to admit.. and the part about protecting her and acting as heartless, are just a series of scripts written to make her feel even more pain. Pain… now thats what keeps us alive. Aien’t it? How do I know so much? *Grin* Intuition.

  4. Bravo. Well put indeed.

    Although I really don’t know whether such a girl would ever take the first step towards commitment. Somehow, I believe she will need to sense that the guy is somehow “different”.

    And yes…some people do wear their hearts on their sleeves. But being the ever-cynic, I’ll always wonder whether it’s truly their heart they are wearing. After all, we’ve all got to protect ourselves, don’t we? 🙂

  5. Sounds like you’re talking about me. Lol.

  6. TP: you’re right, in a sense. but everything is relative isn’t it? its pain to you, but to her it really is about staying in her comfort zone. and because she is used to living like this, i wouldn’t exactly call it pain.

    it’s like how people diagnosed with mental illnesses often find it hard to recover from it. because its so easy to just live with what you are comfortable with. abit like Paul Coelho’s book “Victoria decides to die”.

    Speaking of sadomasochism, I heard a joke the other day about a masochist and a sadist. Will tell you next time. haha =P

    Tooth Fairy: Hmmm, I believe there are always people who do wear their heart on their sleeves, some just keep believing i guess =)

    as for the girl, i wouldn’t know. she may be the kind as you described, or she may be the kind who puts up a strong front but secretly believes in happily ever after so she gives her heart out to every guy who comes by who seems actually interested in her for who she is.

    fireflower: haha, it sounds like alot of people, doesn’t it?

  7. I think I should meet Ben’s new interest. It could of course, also be, that the sex is good, the companionship better, and hey. Who needs to bring the cow home, just to get the milk?

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