I’m a commitment-phobe.

Geez, how long did it take for me to figure that out?

Remember how I mentioned “Mr BKK” awhile ago, that while it was a friend, he somehow wanted some other sort of, arrangement, if you will, between us, and that I might just go on some island getaway trip with him?

Somehow, we’re talking about an arrangement between two people that entails a relationship of sorts that does not require the element of commitment and we’re free to see whoever else we want. But apparently, even with such an arrangement, I’ve realised that I can get cold feet even in such an arrangement.

So I’m officially commitment-phobic. Not just the kind where actual, real-life, breathing and living, emotions are involved. But just the mere thought of being someone’s companion, is pretty scary for me. Thoughts just start to flood my head, possibilities of him being extremely “sticky” and demanding that I spend all my free time with him, not being able to fuck other men, is pretty scary a thought to entertain.

So everytime I think about the possibilities, I freak out and run away. Almost literally.

So today, I told mysef, I ought to take the plunge.

And that first step will be taken tomorrow.

If I don’t chicken out first.

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10 Comments

  1. haha aren’t we all commitment phobic at some point? well, the truth is, if you think real hard about anything, a zillion things could go wrong. so just take things 1 step at a time and see how it goes. it’s never too late to chicken out anyways. so.. what’s there to lose?

  2. The suckiest thing is to be commitment-phobic, yet lonely.

    😦

  3. No worries, I believe that when the right man comes along you will have no problem to commit.
    For now, enjoy!

  4. sneexe: yeah, so very true =)

    skorpios: it depends really. because when the right man comes along, he could probably be “right” because he came at the right time, my biological clock could be ticking away, pressure from society to get hitched, pregnant and single (god forbid!).

    of course i’d have no problem committing because i’d be forced by circumstances to commit. but again, i’m not committing by choice =P

    and i seriously doubt that commitment-phobes can ever commit by choice.

  5. Found what you want – osmanthus white tea. Are you still interested?

  6. Tony: where?

  7. No guarantees it may be the real deal, but you can call Connie at 67545123. Free delivery to your house if orders are $60 and above. Oh yes, please mention that Dawn recommended you to her as well.

  8. From one to another….

    I so know what you mean. Although for me, it’s not so much that I want to keep fucking other men (although there’s really no harm in thinking about that :p) but 1) I get bored, 2) sooner or later, something about the other person will really piss you off, especially if you weren’t head over heels in the first place, and 3) I think I like the feeling of falling in love… sad…but true. I just don’t know how to “stay” in love.

  9. Tony: alright I’l give it a try, thanks alot! =)

    The Tooth Fairy: hmmm…yeah I know what it feels..oh well..

  10. At least you aren’t in a love triangle now..

    How I want to be single now.


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