Memento

Sometimes, it just takes one little thing to open the floodgates of your memory. Then, everything starts flashing before your eyes. This time, it was chancing upon the blog of a friend, N, whom you used to be close with. You look at her previous posts, and you remember the little bits of life you both shared together, you remember helping her with her blog template, you remember the late nights when both of you would stay up and sit in front of the desktop watching clips on YouTube, slurping up your favourite brand of instant noodles.

You flashback to even earlier, you remember being so stressed out, how you would stay up late to make sure everything was perfect, and only sleeping when your eyelids threatened to mutiny. How you’d wake up the next day, hours later, to find that she had done everything for you while you were asleep. How it was just a simple gesture on her part but you were so touched, how, because of that one simple gesture, the two of you became close friends, confiding in each other, sharing smoking sessions, talking about life after school, love, and your other friends.

Then you are reminded of all the late nights staying up to work on projects, on subsequent publications, helping friends with their projects, watching the sun rise the next morning while drinking beer, and feasting on breakfast ordered from McDonald’s, letting off steam by trashing the entire world, talking about life.

What about the first night you all spent together, after a late night of work and meeting. Where we all slowly got accustomed to each other’s sleeping habits, both the annoying and quirky? And all the times, all the silly things everyone unwittingly, whether it was due to a lack of sleep or just the sheer lapse of concentration, if only for that split second?

You stop and remember too, the times where, you stayed up late with her, V, someone else you have grown to hold close to your heart. You remember both of you, working late into the night, the room dark except for the glow coming from the screens of both your laptops. Discussing where this ought to go, what color that ought to be. All in a day’s work to organising an event you had asked her to help you with. You remember also, all the bitching, and those nights you both decide not to do any work and stayed up the entire night instead to play some silly game on your computers.

You also remember how, after everything had been done and over with, the two of you remained even closer friends because of the experience, you remember the late night/early morning chats the both of you have, the chats that were senseless and silly because of the sleeplessness.
You remember, all those times, the ones that made you smile, and the ones that made you laugh til you cried. You remember all the words exchanged, all the heartfelt conversations, that revealed so much about each other in such a short time.

You wonder why it all flew past so quickly, and despite its impossibility, you yearn to relive those memories. But all you can say to each other is “I miss those days”. Four simple words which carried so much meaning, of which implied the experiences and memories of one years worth of friendship and living together that nothing else could ever replace, all torn apart by somebody’s foolish anger and jealousy, and you played the fool by playing along, almost destroying a wonderful friendship with one, yet strengthening another. You tell yourself that you will make it right with N, whom you had decided to distance from because of someone’s foolish mistake. You will, someday.

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9 Comments

  1. perhaps you should focus on what is in front of you, before you miss the good times you could have.

  2. maybe the point is not about looking forward, but righting the wrongs. =)

  3. so start today..
    I’d right the wrongs too given half the chance

  4. Dylan: easier said than done isn’t it

  5. I do miss those days…but can’t you write in 3rd person or 1st? I find that 2nd person POV is especially grating hahahaha!

    Just joking…=p

  6. Live with it =P

  7. that may be true,
    but.. doesn’t mean u don’t try just because it’s difficult.

  8. no one said anything about not trying =P

  9. gah


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