Just give it time.

It’s startling what a little bit of late night sleeplessness and the innocent thought of “I’ll just play this album to see how its like” can do to your head.

Unable to sleep, you turn on the laptop hoping to find souls like you; those who stay up a minute too late to revise and end up not being able to sleep. Then, you remember that you haven’t had your daily dose of news and blogs, so you open your feedreader and click the refresh button to show new posts and news feeds.

All of a sudden, in one split second, you regret the decision to stay up to “do a bit more reading” and to play the damned emo album on your iTunes.

You take some time to let the news sink in, searching desperately and frantically for some leads as to why and how this happened. You feel like screaming, like shouting, and all at once you feel stupid for wanting to do so. Most importantly, you feel that familiar feeling inside. That short, stabbing pain, like the staccato notes of a piano piece you remembered playing during one of your piano lessons.

As soon as you realized, you ask yourself, “why didn’t he tell me?”. All the questions you told yourself to forget comes rushing back into your head. “Why not me? Why someone else?” You don’t know what’s going on. No wait, you do, but you just refuse to acknowledge it.

Yes, his name keeps popping up everywhere you go. It’s on websites, on the timetable you have become so familiar with the past couple of months, on your doctor’s appointment card (in the most impossible way, ever), on road signs. These are the places and the things that you try to glance past, as quickly as possible.

You know you’re tired of asking the same questions over and over. Tired of that feeling running through you like a jolt of electricity whenever you do. You’re tired of having that day run through your head over and over and over. And you ask yourself, “why?”. Why you keep harping on it, knowing damn well the answer, knowing damn well what to do next.

It is then that you hear the strains coming through the speakers connected to your laptop;

“Just give it time, it’s gonna get better,
now is not forever at all,
just give it time and everything changes,
tomorrow comes today will be gone,
and everything is gonna be alright just give it time, give it time”

And you think to yourself, “Maybe, maybe I should just give it time. Maybe then I would know to give it away.”

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2 Comments

  1. this blog post resonates with me- i wish it didn’t , but it did.
    anyhow, i added you on msn. i hope we can get acquainted.

  2. warmsocks: thank you 🙂 I am taking a break from MSN for now, furthurmore the email featured here isn’t connected to an MSN account.

    I hope that doesn’t deter from reading my blog.


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