Midnight Reverie.

It was 3am in the morning, you were on your way back from supper with the “peeps”, as you’d often call them. You hung out with so much you all knew each other’s favourite food, weakness, strengths, and quirks. This was one of the weekly supper affairs, of getting out of the rut you all feared being stuck in. As you sat in the backseat of the car, cruising along the highway, you’re watching the trees along the road pass you by like flashes of light.

Flashes of light. You’re instantly reminded of that day, as you sat in the back of the cab, with him beside you, with the ocassional witty banter breaking the silence. You were staring at the bright lights that adorned the streets as the cab was stalled in a jam created by the holiday rush, and you sat there just enjoying the moment.

Now, weeks later, as you sat in the car, watching the trees pass by like the scene set out in your head, you silently wonder why that memory crossed your mind. Again.

You know the answer only too well. You’re wondering why you’re still left thinking when it seems that it is nothing more than a distant memory in his head, if it was any at all. You’re wondering why you’re always left so sullen and broody everytime you find out that his life is going well for him, that he has his friends and his loved ones by his side.

Most importantly, you’re wondering why you’re not one of the people who can make his day brighter just by your sheer prescence by his side. You’re left to wonder if he even thinks of you, if he has forgotten.

Suddenly you’re broken from your reverie. The vehicle lurches to a stop and you realise it’s your turn to get off. You always get off first.

As you watch your best guy buddy’s Mini disappear into the night, you’re aware that the night is silent and you’re the only one standing the carpark, with the cool wind that threatens of an impending thunderstorm. You smile at the mental image. You sigh and pull the collar of the windbreaker closer to your neck. You know the answer too well because its the same advice that escapes from your lips everytime a friend comes to you with a similar problem.

But somehow, in defiance, you refuse to follow your own advice.

Advertisements

10 Comments

  1. Yeah me too. I should really learn to practice what I preach.

    In any case, I get what you’re saying. Sometimes I just want to know he’s thinking of me too. Perhaps I would feel better if he does, that’s all.

  2. how creepy is this? i had almost the same feeling when i was sitting at the backseat of my friend’s car at 2plus a.m. this morning. “i guess it doesnt really matter if he doesnt remember. even if all that had been done were a distant past to him, they made me happy once.” at least that was what i made myself think.

    goodluck!

  3. retrogressive emooo

  4. It seems like we are on a reminiscent mood for this week. Methinks exams does this to people – they should be banned for health and psychological reasons.

  5. Cheryl: Yeah, sometimes you just want so badly to be part of his life, even if its a small role, but it doesn’t always help thinking like this. =)

    thalia: haha, that’s a good way of thinking i suppose, but sometimes it feels so unsatisfying, you know? =)

  6. sighs, your entry hits home for me. normally your friends never understand why you don’t cut your losses short, and forget about him. but then they forget how hard it really is to let go…

  7. mark: haha..shaadddduppp and study! =P

    Aristocrat: haha, yes exams tend to do that to people. but then again, would you really want to wite a 5000 word paper in place of exams?

    *thinks*

    ok maybe i do. =P

    fish: it’s always easier to dispense advise than to act on them, hence “talk is cheap” =)

  8. ripping this off stoned.nerds blog: “Don’t take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90% of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97%, but I don’t want to come off as cynical.”

    and your previous post was still saying you are not emo?

    your honour, i rest my cast.

    -goes to bed- its almost 6am!

  9. ahh.. as they always say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions..

  10. MOS & Mark: good intentions? hell? where? where?

    =P


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s