Scars

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Inspired by this post.

How does it feel to fall?

You feel free, most of the time. Free from all the chains that bind. The chains, which sometimes, can be restraining to choking point. So you try to resist whatever it is that is holding you back from whatever you are trying to do, you try to break free.

One day, you finally succeed. The years of repression, your body, shocked at the sudden freedom starts to loose control and lets itself go. Suddenly, you have no idea what you’re doing, but it feels good. As they say, the sex, drugs, rock & roll. It all starts to come to you and you’re enjoying yourself, basking in the sudden freedom from the chains that have bound you all this while.

You think to yourself, if it feels so good why did they stop me? You don’t wait for an answer to come, you go deeper, exploring all that you’ve been missing, what they called bad, evil, sinful, heresy, they all become addiction. You acquaint yourself with all they’ve been trying to protect you from, love, romance, ciggarettes, alcohol, sex, drugs, everything else they warned you against.

“If it feels so good, how can it be so bad?”

You didn’t really care for an answer then, but that’s because you were busy falling. Too caught up enjoying your time being free from the chains to realise that it was the chains that kept you from falling, now that you’re free, you’re hurtling towards ground at such an incredible pace you don’t even realise.

When you hit the ground with a sickening thud, you suddenly realise why the chains that bound were so tight, why they were so afraid to set you free.

Because to be free, to know all of the stuff they didn’t want you to know and experience, brings pain. You look around and realise there are others around you who have gone through the same.

Slowly, some start to stand on their own, their wounds healing, the scars showing, but they stand up and they move on, and they find new life in the place they landed.

You look around and finally realise why this is happening. You stand up, without help, and let the wounds heal. Like the others, the scars appear.

But only to remind you why.

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13 Comments

  1. The crash as a coming of age?

    Perhaps not.

    Some people just want to fall and not arise from the debris. After all, its the adrenalin rush they crave, not the splitting headache when you awake.

  2. there are always anomalys, the few who refuse to follow. i did think of about it when writing but decided against it for fear of sounding long-winded. i’m not writing a 5000 word essay you know =P

    we can’t always account for everybody in life =)

  3. fwah.. so profound… but so true…. i think you can write a whole paper on that. lolx.

  4. 2 words: touched me.

  5. thalia: thank you =)

  6. I think I’m still falling.

  7. one word:

    anomalies

  8. TKS: aren’t we all =)

    Dylan: so who’s the anomaly here? you or me?

  9. spelling.

  10. I enjoyed my life back then. And I also enjoy my life now.
    Always wondering about what you should have tried is a poison. Always regretting about what you have done is a poison.
    Congratulate yourself on the ability to walk in and out of places, babe.

  11. Chaosm: this post isn’t about poison. it isn’t about regretting the stuff i do and wondering if the stuff i do is poison.

    read between the lines, babe.

  12. Haha ok. My boo-boo.

  13. no worries =)


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