The One

Growing up, like any other naive schoolgirl, I always believed that it was possible to find The One. Countless years of developing schoolgirl crushes, serious dates, and relationships later, I’m confused.

Not so much as to whether The One really exists, but, how do you define The One? How do you know if a guy is The One for you?

Sure, he would have to fulfill a certain criteria, wouldn’t he?

But does he have to be say, tall, tanned, chiselled good looks?

Or does he have to be intelligent, witty, funny?

What about money? Does he have to be rich? Or does he have to be able to give a comfortable life? What about housing, a car, and children?

Or is it the way he makes you feel, something on a more intangible level?

Or do all these not matter and it’s just all, instinct?

What does it have to be for a guy to be The One?

There’s just something about you that I can’t quite put my finger on. Something about you that makes me want to behave the way I’m feeling. Something that makes me want to throw all caution to the wind and give in to my deepest, darkest desires. Something that makes me want to forget about conformity and restraints and just be myself, to give in to my emotions and express them as they are meant to be expressed.

But you know what they say, desires can be dangerous things.



  1. Are desires really dangerous? Or are they dangerous in view of what society desires and what we really desire?

  2. Nice header there by the way, however totally incongruent with your title. Lol. Made it yourself?

  3. Personally, desires are dangerous things because it causes one to act on impulsive, and more often than not, acting impulsively results in unwanted repercussions. That’s for me, at least =)

    And yes I did the header myself, I know it’s not very congruent, but I was just messing around in photoshop and got this and I thought it was nice =P So there! Heh..

  4. Interesting post, especially since I have chosen “TheOne” to be the name of my current leading man. I thought I knew what The One was when I was younger, and I thought I knew who it was too.

    I guess the fact that I named TheOne what I did means that I sortof view it as a person who is a presence in your life that just never goes away, that your feelings for never really go away- even if you can’t understand why they’re there in the first place.

    Should you date that person? I really don’t know.

    And I like the new look btw 🙂

  5. You’ll know he’s The One because he lets you be all that you can be… and by “lets”, I mean providing inspiration, support, maybe guidance, etc.

  6. Vag: Thanks! =) If the person’s presence never really goes away, it wouldn’t really matter if you do end up dating that person or not, doesn’t it?

    Which then brings us to another question, is The One someone we end up spending the rest of our life with, or can he be just another passer-by?

    TKS: That’s what I always thought I wanted in a man, someone who will be a pillar of strength, be supportive, guides me, and lets me do likewise, and I thought I did find that person.

    But then again, is that really what constitutes The One? Or should material needs be put into consideration too? Do you, as a man, want to marry a woman who fulfills your mentioned critieria of The One, yet remains a financial strain?

    I know I sound very shallow, but when it comes to spending your lives together, shouldn’t we look for more?

  7. Everything is relative but as long as you both have the competence and the drive to succeed, things should be okay…?

  8. Hi..thought it’s a rather interesting post..just to share my 5cents.

    I guess the connotation of The ONE depends on how you look at it. To some, it may be a soulmate, one who brings out the best in you. Others may think that it is material wealth which can give you a comfortable life.

    But you can’t have the best of both’s either one or the other.

    Meanwhile, just enjoy life. Stay cool!!!

  9. TKS: I don’t know really, maybe when I get married I’ll have an answer *laughs*

    rainingz: but you see, you can’t really have one without having the other isn’t it? what’s the point of having material comfort if you have to live with someone you don’t really like that enough to want to spend your life together with? and what’s the point of living with someone who brings out the best in you if you have to struggle everyday to make ends meet?

    I know I’m thinking of worst-case scenarios here, but just for the sake of argument, can you really have one without the other?

    And if you can’t, what then is the deciding factor?

  10. Let’s look at the main reasons for divorce in Singapore – 50%: money, 25%: in-laws and 25%: infidelity (not always limited to the husband straying).

    Guess you have to make sure you’ve got these three factors figured out, for the Happy Ever After to happen. 😉

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