The L Word

I’ve probably mentioned this on my blog somewhere, eons ago, but I’ll say it again with the show going into its 4th season. I LOVE THE L WORD.

I started watching it from its first season, followed the lives of Alice, Shane, Dana, Bette and Tina all the way until Shane decides to marry Carmen in season three, and then has her life turned topsy turvy in season four.

I’m barely into season 4, but I’m already loving it. The L Word offers an insight into the lives of lesbians, both the romantic and sexual sense of the word, I don’t know how accurate it is since it IS Hollywood afterall, but the show is just AMAZING.

Like I mentioned, The L Word is about this group of lesbians, their trials and tribulations, their lives, interacting with the straight world. It sorta gives an interesting POV of how different straight relationships are from lesbian relationships.

I think the difference here is that, because women are so much more intuned to their emotions than most men (“most” because I know some guys who can be pretty sensitive to their own emotions and needs), a lesbian relationship tends to be more, “explosive” because women are supposed to be better at articulating their thoughts and feelings. When you put two angry women together, we all know what happens.

Which I think, is something you don’t necessarily get when you have a heterosexual relationship. I always wondered why woman tend to be passive aggressive when it comes to their boyfriends, than say, their female friends. I suppose it’s because well, men sometimes just don’t get it. Women do because we are able to feel and understand things from the same point of view. Which is why, perhaps, a heterosexual relationship tends to be less intense than say, a lesbian one?

(Note that I’m not really speaking for the homosexual men here because, really, I have no idea how it works out for the men, although I’m pretty sure some of you out there would be able to comment on this.)

I know it sounds awfully strange to base my views on a purely fictional TV drama, but I think it’s the same for real-life lesbian relationships too, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve seen my lesbian friends and their partners and their relationships are just intense in the sense that they just bare it all. There’s just so much drama in their lives simply because they dare to say how they think and feel. There’s just so much emotion put in that I sometimes look across the table and wonder, how come heterosexual relationships aren’t like that?

Whether it’s a good or bad thing is another issue altogether though, but it is very very different, isn’t it?

Which then makes me wonder how it’d be like to be in a lesbian-type relationship with a man. Someone who is fully in tuned to his emotions and actually gets why women feel and react the way they do. Is it even possible?

Oh, and the sex. The sex scenes on The L Word are just, well, better left undescribed. (maybe because I don’t have the right word to describe it, steamy? erotic? explosive? They just don’t seem right). All I can say after watching them is, Damn, I wish I was a lesbian!

So, the question remains, is it possible to be in a lesbian-type heterosexual relationship?

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2 Comments

  1. I haven’t watched television in over ten years unless it is something I glance in a store of at someone else’s place. Anything I have seen in these circumstances, strengthens my believe that television is drivel. Some friends have given me video clips and DVDs saying usually, “I know what you mean…but this show is different. It is so much better than the rest.” They never are. This being said, I have never seen the L-word, but of course like many men, I have a thing for the concept of lesbians—God’s People. However, what I really want to do is to comment on the general content of this post rather than on some quasi-fictional account of lesbians. I would be remiss not to state clearly a disclaimer that as with most sweeping generalisations, stereotypes run thick.

    I think the difference here is that, because women are so much more intuned to their emotions than most men (”most” because I know some guys who can be pretty sensitive to their own emotions and needs), a lesbian relationship tends to be more, “explosive” because women are supposed to be better at articulating their thoughts and feelings. When you put two angry women together, we all know what happens.

    Women are not “intuned” with their emotions. They are simply emotional. The two are not synonymous. Acting emotionally, as counter-intuitive as it might first appear, is precisely being out of touch with ones emotions. As a guy, I think in logical rather than emotional terms. I get that. My wife is both at times in touch with her emotions and emotional.

    I am not on board with the line “a lesbian relationship tends to be more, “explosive” because women are supposed to be better at articulating their thoughts and feelings” because expressing feelings and articulation of ones thoughts would have a tendency to defuse strong feelings, a release of steam that would lead to an explosion. No, women talk and think they communicate—and before you think I am a misogynist, let me say I feel guys are no better at this communication thing, especially in relationships. Women talk in circles—circumlocution. They over-rely on intuition and nuance, but this is a risky proposition.

    Which, I think, is something you don’t necessarily get when you have a heterosexual relationship. I always wondered why woman tend to be passive aggressive when it comes to their boyfriends, than say, their female friends. I suppose it’s because well, men sometimes just don’t get it. Women do because we are able to feel and understand things from the same point of view. Which is why, perhaps, a heterosexual relationship tends to be less intense than say, a lesbian one?

    I…wonder, how come heterosexual relationships aren’t like that?

    In general, men and women think differently. You can’t get the same relationship with a guy you can with a woman. This is why women see Romance movies and read Romance novels. They see Hugh Grant or whomever acting as a woman does, and then women say, “Whay can’t you act like that?” It’s fiction—nothing less, nothing more. I believe the reciprocal of that would be a guy would expect his sex life mirror his favourite porno film. It’s just fiction.

    Which then makes me wonder how it’d be like to be in a lesbian-type relationship with a man. Someone who is fully in tuned to his emotions and actually gets why women feel and react the way they do. Is it even possible?

    Oh, and the sex. The sex scenes on The L Word are just, well, better left undescribed. (maybe because I don’t have the right word to describe it, steamy? erotic? explosive? They just don’t seem right). All I can say after watching them is, Damn, I wish I was a lesbian!

    Of course, you can be a lesbian. You could certainly enter into a lesbian relationship. You could certainly experience lesbian sex. Before I met my wife, she had a stint of being a lesbianexclusively dating women for a couple of years. She loved the sex. She misses the sex, but she doesn’t miss the mind games and pissy emotions. This is the standard modus operandi for many if not most women.

    So, the question remains, is it possible to be in a lesbian-type heterosexual relationship?

    It is possible. It is also possible that we solve world hunger, injustice, and have enduring world peace. Possible, but not likely.

  2. MFL: I have alot to say about that, but I’ll leave it for another day =P


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