Of erotic dreams, fantasies, and the dark side (and other random thoughts)

Lately I’ve been having wierd dreams, of fucking someone caucasian and tall. Funny thing is how I never get to see his face. And funny how I never ever dream of the act of fucking him in itself but you know how in dreams, sometimes you just know?

And lately I’ve been having this fantasy of frolicking in a pool. You know, late at night where there’s no one else and just me and some guy, messing around but never really get into the actual act? But both of us get so turned on we run up to his place to complete the process.

I’ve also been reading up on Wicca and Paganism (again). Although on countless occassions I’ve sworn to walk away from it all, there’s just this allure to the seemingly “dark” side you know? I’m sure alot of people reading this would disagree with me, but this is just how I am. Ever noticed that my MSN display pictures resolves around the dark and depressing, sometimes macabre? I admit there is a certain comfort in being like this, and I like being like this. Surprisingly, being all happy and shiny does nothing for my creativity, and I’ve been trying to get in touch with that side of me again, and being happy and shiny just doesn’t cut it. Ever notice how poets, writers and painters are always, erm, dark and depressing?

Oh, I’ve also been told that I’m very clinical (no, not the medical term per se, but more of being devoid of emotions) when it comes to the fuck buddy type of relationship. I mean, isn’t this how it’s supposed to me. What, you expect me to cuddle with you after sex? Sure, I’ll stick around and talk but there’s no way I’d do the whole cuddling cooochie coochie coo thing. What’s wrong with being clinical anyway? Would you rather I’d invest some emotions into this whole thing? What do you expect from this anyway? Come on, it’s just sex, I’d stick around and be a friend, I’d joke around and chat, but please, nothing more.

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3 Comments

  1. yeah, the whole cuddle-after-sex thing is just warped if its just a fuck buddy. I mean, even the name suggest, BUDDY. Its always a “you not leaving the bed? ok i will coz i need a smoke” senario and it will feel weird with the puppy eyes longing look.

  2. If you need a Wiccan group, feel free to let me know. I happen know of one practising group in sg…

  3. Aristocrat! =) It’s been awhile..heh..

    Anyway thanks for the offer, I prefer to practice alone. It gives me more flexibility to do what I want, rather than to be confined to group where I have to take into account their practices as well..

    But then again, I’m just toying with the idea, it’s been awhile since I left it alone, and maybe there are good reasons to..who knows?

    It’s all the old and cliche saying isn’t it..”as long as its meant to be, it will be”


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